Where is Your Kid?

[I was thinking about this the other day, then saw a FB post by a friend along the same lines, so decided to write about it.]

When I was stationed in Spain, I knew a girl there that was a few years older than me. She had a son, a cute little preschool-age kid. I was single and kid-less, so I was out a lot.

I saw her almost every time I was out.

Even at that young age, no kids, never even really thinking about them, I would always look at her and wonder where the heck her son was.

She worked day shift, so she was gone all day. Then she would be out all the time, leaving the boy with their Spanish nanny for so many, many hours.

Look – I get it. I am a single mom with two kids. I need a break sometimes, and now that they are older and can feed themselves and such, I don’t feel as bad about having a few hours out every so often. But, not very often – single-mom=broke, plus I don’t want them to feel like I’m never around.

But taking a break sometimes, and always being gone are two completely different things.

She slept around, got pregnant, had her kid, and kept doing the same thing she did before she had him. Um… no.

Having a child means that your life MUST change. You are now responsible for this little person, and just making sure they have the basic necessities doesn’t cut it. Kids in orphanages have the basic necessities. You know what they don’t have? A parent. A parent has to look outside of their self and turn their love, nurturing, caring, etc… onto their child. I get SO irritated when someone has a kid and then decides that they are a priority AFTER the job and the friends and the “fun” life.

Dude, get over yourself.

Yes, you must, must, must have time for yourself to de-stress and unwind and whatever you need to do to not turn into the crazy mommy. My goal is a week away once a year. Not happening this year (broke!), but to take a night or a weekend is fantastic. It’s important for me because I’m already a little nutso, and my kids need a break from me, too!

But my life, as a single mom, is to be the best mom I can be and to make sure that my kids know how much I love them. I think of the children out there who are in a home where mom or dad or both refuse to acknowledge that they need to change for their child, and it breaks my heart.

That is my rant for the day – if you are a parent, BE A PARENT.

 

Everyone is Scottish!

I follow the official James Bond feed on Facebook because I love James Bond. Most days they post a picture and trivia, and today it got me thinking about how cool JB is. And then onto the debate of the best JB (Daniel Craig takes it, IMHO). Which got me thinking about Sean Connery. Which made me chuckle thinking about how, not matter what character he is playing, he never, ever, ever even attempted to have an accent other than his native Scottish accent.

Russian submarine captain in ‘The Hunt for Red October’? Scottish.

Former American Alcatraz prisoner in ‘The Rock’? Scottish.

Indiana Jones’ dad in ‘The Last Crusade’? Scottish.

King Arthur in ‘First Knight’? Scottish.

Irish-American cop in ‘The Untouchables’. Yep – Scottish!

It’s kind of sad that he doesn’t act anymore, because he really is great. I’ll just have to re-watch some of the old JB movies – oh, darn.

Does anyone else find this funny, or is it just me?

 

“Home”sick

I have to admit that even after over a year, I still am sad about moving.

(Why did I move then? Well, when God tells you to do something, it’s better to do it. Trust me – I learned that too many times the hard way.)

I don’t miss the awful humidity. I don’t miss the crazy storms that spawn watermelon-size hail and tornadoes. I do not, not, not, not miss the man-eating mosquitoes that swarm like flies on cow manure.

I miss the people.

I spent ten years there, building a life and making some of the most wonderful friends. I went through most of the major changes in my life there, and those people were with me and never turned away – even in the really dark times.

I miss my church. I miss the fabulous stuff that my kids got to be a part of and the fantastic people that poured into them. I miss singing with the best band and the best best worship leaders.

I miss my job at my church. I loved that job, and love the people that I got to work with.

I miss my little ‘nephew’ and my cousins!

I sure miss my chiropractor!

I still am not quite sure why I’m here and not there. Still wondering what (hopefully) amazing thing will happen that had to be done here. Considering I’ve spent the majority of my adult life waiting and struggling, it’s not much different, just tiring.

So, my wonderful Texas “family”, I miss you!

Life is Odd

So, it’s been 437,365.2 years or so since I’ve blogged. What has been happening?

WELL… I’m glad you asked.

I up and moved back to Las Vegas last year.

I started this post at a minuscule little table in a little town home. It’s actually a decent place, with 3 bedrooms, and my sister lives in the living room, because she also decided to up and move to Las Vegas.

This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I was not very partial to the man-sized, flesh-eating mosquitos in Texas, but everything and everyONE else was something I was quite fond of. But, I suppose when God tells you to do something, you’d better do it.

In June (2012, just to clarify), I sent my kids off to their father’s early, packed up my Kia Rondo (which is NOT a minivan, thankyouverymuch), and drove – BY MYSELF – halfway across the country along the MOST boring stretch of road ever. As someone who does not enjoy driving, and avoids road trips like the plague, that sure was fun.

After two days and 20 hours, I arrived at my fabulous friend’s house. She let me take up space for a couple of months while I applied for about 200 or so jobs. (That is not an exaggeration. Seriously.) So, here I am, missing my friends, my church, my children, my family, my HOME, unemployed and having zero luck at becoming employed, bored, lonely and wondering if I really was supposed to move.

Time was drawing close to needing to go and get my children, and I was starting to panic. I had no job to take care of them with, no money to go get them, and they were SO miserable. They called me every night, crying and wanting to come home.

My parents finally sold the house and moved. I had just enough money to buy a plane ticket back to Texas AND was also able to work temporarily at my old, and much missed, job. Yay!

Then, my amazing parents decided that it was time for us to come back, so they bought tickets for us, and now there I was in that tiny little town home, with my sister in the living room.

Thank Jesus, just as I hit empty on the bank account (after an entire year of searching), I finally got a job for the city. Parks and Rec (no, I haven’t seen the show). We just moved about a month ago to a much, much, much nicer and way, way, way, way less roach infested (maybe a slight exaggeration, but even one is too much). Now we’re just living and going day-by-day waiting for the awesomeness that is sure to come.

Maybe it won’t be 437,365.2 until the next entry, yes? Yes!

Cannibals

Yes, cannibalism is pretty disgusting. It still exists, yes, but in isolated tribes in the middle of nowhere, lots of times used as revenge. Ew.

So, why do we suddenly start talking like cannibals when referring to cute little children? I’m not singling anyone out – I’m guilty of it, too. But, we see an adorable baby, and soon we’re going to “eat their little cheeks” or “munch on the sweet little face” or “eat you up because you are so cute!”

I’m not sure how telling a baby that you want to eat them in some way is a compliment. Every time I say something like that, I then comment that it really is a bizarre thing to say.

So, that’s my thought for today. What are yours?

No Words

If you know me at all, then you’ll chuckle when I say that it is very rare that I don’t have words. As a writer, I love words. And I generally have something witty or profound or just ridiculous to say about almost everything. (I hear my co-workers agreeing wholeheartedly right now!)

But, today I had no words.

A very good friend from my military days called me today to talk about the middle-of-the-night phone call about a young Marine that he knew who had lost both legs. He listened as the young, and relatively new, wife of this Marine went through so many emotions over the phone. And as my friend talked about it, all I could do was listen.

What do you say? What can you say? As a writer who always has the words, I couldn’t find any that would be “good” enough to say. My heart hurts so very much for this young couple – the Marine that is no longer whole and the wife that has to be the one he leans on most. Even though I do not know their names or anything about them, I fight tears as I think about them and the sacrifice they have made.

Don’t forget the cost of our freedom.

The Big Debate

This is a HUGE deal. Some serious debates have come out of this topic. Pretty sure countries have fallen over it.

I grew up on the West Coast (that is a topic for another day, East Coast friends), and I think I may have called it ‘soda’. I moved to Texas (again, another topic for another day) and now I’m not really sure what to call it.

[The East/West Coast thing, and the Texas/Every-other-state thing are also huge debates. It’s almost comical sometimes. Until someone gets shot, which has happened. Over WHICH COAST you live on. Sad. But, I digress.)

Die-hard southerners call everything ‘coke’. Pepsi is coke. Sprite is coke. You ask for a coke, and they will say what kind, and you will answer with Dr. Pepper.

Go a little farther north and you get ‘soda’. Keep going and you get ‘pop’. Whatever it’s called, I don’t drink a lot of it, but when I do, I always falter a littl, then just string them together to be safe. “Yes, I’d like a sodacokepop, please.” Or sometimes I just use the actual name of the beverage when wanting a specific type, such as Sprite, but that seems to illicit an even more confused response from some.

But let’s face it – no matter what you call it, someone will give you an odd look because you said the wrong thing. What do you call sodacokepop?

 

Who Says That?

Just a quick observation today.

Friend posts picture of her and the BF on Facebook.

Someone comments, “Aw how cute! He looks like he could be your brother:)”

Ok, people – help me out with this one.

Where Did It GO?

Where did what go, you ask?

The year – DUH!

I woke up and it was a new year. Not sure how I feel about that. So many people go on and on about the “new” year and all the promises it holds and all of the wonderful things that will happen, et cetera, et cetera….

First, I don’t make ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. Let’s face it – how many people actually keep them? It really just sets you up for failure immediately. I fail at way too many things all ready, so to purposefully set myself up to fail at more? No, I’ll pass, thankyouverymuch.

Second, I have a struggle with myself on the hope that a new year brings. Part of me is all, “WooHoo!! New year! Cool stuff may actually happen now!” The rest of me just thinks, “Oh, yay. Somehow today will be vastly different from yesterday simply because we changed the number at the very end of the date.” Usually the rest of me wins. I don’t feel a whole lot different when I wake up on January 1. Or any other day after. Yes, I do realize that is a very pessimistic view, but every so often I get that little rush of thought that maybe, just maybe it will make a difference.

So, maybe, just maybe, this year will change. Granted, it hasn’t started out so well. Still failing at many things, sick right out of the gate, more family drama. But, it’s still early and who know what will happen, so fingers crossed.

So, Happy 2012. And please don’t run out and join the gym – you’ll stop going in a few weeks and then just waste monthly fees for a while until you finally admit you’re not going back and cancel the membership. Just vow to eat less jello cake.

Number Crunching

The reality is even sadder.

I’ve been pouring over numbers for hours. Research for yet MORE info the IRS wants.

(As a side note: the lady that is working on my application is very nice and thinks that every organization that wants to help the military should be able to. AND she thinks what we pay our military is pathetic.)

Anyhoo, I thought that I would share what I have found this afternoon. Here is an excerpt from the report I’m sending in. (If you want to see the data, I’d be glad to show you, but there’s LOTS!)

The 2011 Military Pay Rates (as published by the Department of Defense) of the five lowest ranks (E-1 through E-5) in the military have been pulled and compared to the 2009 Average National Wage (as published by the Social Security Administration), the 2011 Poverty Level Guidelines (as published by the US Department of Health and Human Services) and the 2008 National (and regional) Household Expenditures (as published by the US Census Bureau in 2011).

The Military Pay Rates fall between 50% – 65% LOWER than the Average National Wage.

Of the 25 separate Military Households compared to the Poverty Level, 56% fall below the Poverty Level.

When compared to the National Average Expenditures (what the average median household in the US spends each year to live), 100% of the Military Households compared earn between 39% -56% LESS than the average US household spends.

THEREFORE, it is well within reason to conclude that the majority of lower level military households are barely able to pay for basic living expenses, let alone take a (well-earned and much needed) vacation.

These numbers are based on Base Pay only and doesn’t factor in Housing Allowance (which you only get if you live off base) OR Subsistence Allowance (which is only calculated for the military member only – I guess his family doesn’t count AND isn’t paid (or only partially paid) if you live in military housing).

So, what do you think about this?